Poop Crib

"What can we do?" I asked my husband, Mr. Weldon. "We can't take away his ability to poop?" 

He stared at the little balls of poop sprawled across the carpet of our 2 year old son's bedroom, and replied, "I don't know. We could put duct-tape around his diaper." 

"No, we can't do that! How are we going to have the babysitter change his diapers? With scissors?" I spouted out immediately.

This is the crib before it had it's side removed...age  1

I carefully tip-toed through the maze of poop to retrieve our only child from his crib and take him to the bathroom for a impromptu bath after his eventful nap. Mr. Weldon was stuck with the job of cleaning it all up. By the time the bath was over, he was still cleaning. I took our son to the living room and had him play with some toys. That's when I heard my husband say, "OH NOOOOO...." I hurried back to the bedroom to see what had happened. 


"It's in the peg holes! There's poop molded--like play-doh into the holes of the crib!" 

A month prior, we had removed one side of the crib, converting it into a toddler bed, after our son fell out while trying to escape during a nap. When we took off the side of the crib, we removed wooden pegs/ and screws. This left the corner posts with small screw sized

Age 2

holes in them. THESE VERY HOLES had been converted into poop holders by our son. Our dark brown crib had disguised the poop for a long time from Mr. Weldon's view--but the familar unpleasant smell of baby poop had gotten his attention once all the other poop pebbles had been removed. "So sneaky," he said, " it blends in perfectly, disguised as wood putty." 

"No. No. Noooo!", I said.

"It's disgusting! How do we get it out and clean it?" Mr. Weldon replied with horror.

We started a journey around the house to look for the perfect poop cleaning tools. We tried chopsticks, screws, nails, baby wipes, cotton swabs, but finally ended up with a screwdriver that we could push through the holes. We caught the crumbles of poop at the hole's exit point and then ran a baby wipe through the hole to get the tinier bits. But, the baby wipe didn't clean well. We still smelled POOP. We were so sick of poop. We put bleach on the baby wipes and used the screwdriver to push them through the small holes. It WORKED! It was finally over! The poop smell and actual was gone! Hooray! 

Until he did it again the next day, and the day after that. THEN it really was over. 

Kids know how to shock and amaze. I'm sure their resumes clearly represent their magical skill-sets. 

Age 2

CUTEST LITTLE BABY

20 Penny Lane, Pullman, WA 99163/ (509) 555-5555

Skills: 

* Can make things disappear and reappear

* Advanced gross & fine motor skills 

* Play-Doh and Poop Molding / Artwork Expert

* Adorable laugh

* Good at innocently pointing to mistakes and acting like I didn't do it

Real Life Experience:

Birth- Present-- 1st Born BABY in FAMILY

- Learning and loving it! 

- Pushing poop into unthinkable places.

- Throwing poop like rice at a wedding.

- Getting other people to clean up poop for hours, over and over again without pay.

- Being a little angel. 

Thanks for letting me share the Weldon Poop Crib Story. It's one of many "WHAT!" Moments of parenthood. (BUT somehow we still love it.)